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About Funchal

So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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After that, I’m feeling pumped. I head back to my shop, and I’m ready to work. But then, I see this stray cat outside. It’s all scruffy and sad. I can’t help it. I’m a sucker for animals. I take it in, and now I’ve got a new shop mascot. I name him “Furball.”

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